If I Knew Then, What I Know Now


You know my sisters, people say hindsight is always 20/20. And it’s true. Time and experience are great teachers. That is, if we can learn from our mistakes. I know this to be true in my own life and walk with the Lord. I learned a great life lesson when I was a single woman in my early twenties. I wanted to have that sweet, romantic relationship with the perfect guy that would someday lead to the dream wedding and the lifetime of happily ever after. I knew what the Bible said in Psalms 37:4:

“Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.”

But I didn’t delight myself in the Lord. I didn’t trust the Lord to give me the desires of my heart. I searched for my perfect guy with my natural eyes. I didn’t look for a man that loved God first and above all else. I looked for a guy who drove a nice car, had a nice apartment and dressed to the nines. And as I went looking with my natural eye, the rest of my body quickly got in on the search. I ignorantly believed what the world said about finding a mate. I bought into the lie that you should see if you’re sexually compatible with a guy before getting serious with him. But once I started dipping my toes in to test the waters, before long I was up to my waist, then to my shoulders, up to my neck and ultimately in over my head.

What began as a search for one perfect man, ended up becoming a string of sexual relationships with many men and no husband. I finally got sick and tired of the parade of uncommitted men coming in and out of my life and I gave up my pursuit and turned back to the Lord. After months of turning off my phone and being alone with God – seeking His face to know his will, I looked up one day to find a man I had previously rejected, standing there ready, willing and able to love me the way I needed to be loved.

When I met him the first time I thought he was square and boring. He didn’t have a great apartment or drive a hot car. He drove a hooptie and still lived at home. He didn’t wear designer labels because he worked hard, saved his money and shopped at Kmart. (Yep, I saw him there a few times). But when he came into my life the second time around, he’d been in prayer about me all the while I’d been seeking God for a change in my life. This time when we met, instead of looking with my natural eyes, I prayed about being with him and God said, “Yes. This is my choice.” When temptation to get physical became too intense, I told this man that I didn’t want to travel down the path of fornication again. And he said, “Neither do I. Let’s get married.”

That was almost twenty two years ago and boy, if I knew then what I know now, I would have never rejected that man the first time around. After all these years, he’s been as faithful and as steady as they come. He’s been kind, generous, and lovable – a great friend and an amazing lover. This gentle giant who was afraid to hold our baby daughter when she was a newborn, has grown into an excellent father. A voice of truth, wisdom and reason for our sons and an example of what a Godly husband should be for my daughter.

Most definitely…if I knew then what I know now, I would have run into his arms and held on for dear life. If I knew then what I know now, I would have trusted God in the beginning instead of wasting my time with all those other guys, giving them what they didn’t deserve. Looking with my natural eyes, I didn’t see the treasure contained within the man I rejected, but God knew. I didn’t recognize the divine gift as it passed before me, but God knew. He knew all along just what I would need and He created this perfect man for me before the foundation of the earth.

The good news, my sister, is that God has the same plan in mind for you. He knows just what you need and he has the perfect man for you. He’s already determined who’ll be your best lover and your best friend. You don’t have to take a sexual test drive with every man you meet to see if he’ll take care of your needs in bed. God will send you a man who will take care of your needs physically, emotionally, financially and sexually. Now, I’m not saying there won’t be challenges and opportunities to grow in the relationship. There will be challenges, but if you let God do the choosing and trust His judgment, you’ll have a solid foundation to build on.

Now if you’re reading this and you know you’re in the seeking mode, using sex as a way to choose a man or as a way to keep a man then you know it’s time to make a change. When you’re not married and you’re involved in sexual sin you’re walking in dangerous territory. Not only are you sinning against God, but the Bible says in 1Corinthians 6:18, he that commits fornication sins against his own body. God says if you’re engaging in fornication you’re violating your own body and that is simply not God’s best for you. If that’s what’s going on in your life, then it’s time to turn and face the Lord and ask Him to help you make a change. A ManFast can help you do this.

What is a ManFast, you ask?

A ManFast is a lifestyle change you make when you decide to do things God’s way instead of your way. ManFast is a process of turning away from men who don’t love or appreciate you and turning to seek God for His will for your life. ManFast is called a process because it takes time to change. It takes time to unlearn old behaviors and attitudes and it takes time to learn a new way of thinking – a new way of walking. A ManFast is just like the fast that’s described in Isaiah 58:6.

“Is not this the fast that I have chosen? To loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke?”

A ManFast gives you a chance to clear your head and focus on God so you can hear what He has to say to you. A ManFast gives you a chance to unload that emotional baggage you’ve picked up every time you go through a bad break up or have to deal with a cheating man. A ManFast is an opportunity to say no to sin and yes to God so the He can begin blessing your life. A ManFast is a chance to let God show you how beautiful, strong and talented you are. A ManFast teaches you to celebrate you!


Aren’t you ready for that change? Aren’t you ready to look at yourself in the mirror and see joy and peace instead of desperation and worry? I know you are. So just head over to the ManFast website: www.manfast.net and see how you can begin.

Now you may be happily married or contented in your singleness and that's great! If so, please send this on to someone who needs this and get into agreement for God to move in their lives.

And whether you're married, a satisfied single or still trying to get it together, let me hear from you and tell my how you're doing! This is a great place to share your story and get connected!

Blessings~

Melissa

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