"I'm Still Waiting For My Husband..."

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven…”

Ecclesiastes 3:1 is one of the most profoundly beautiful statements ever written. It short, it sums up the whole of our being and time on earth – from the cradle to the grave, as some like to say.

I especially love verse eight which begins with the words…A time to love.

I’ve been thinking about this scripture a lot, especially after having a conversation with a beautiful Christian woman who glanced down at her left ring finger and sighed, “I’m still waiting for my husband.”

As I thought on our conversation again, God prompted me to write about this further. Here’s what the Father would have to know about waiting for a husband.

According to Ecclesiastes 3:11 “…there is a time for every purpose and for every work.”

Although it may seem like things in your life happen by chance, the reality is God has a purpose and a time for every activity that will occur in your life. And that includes love, romance and marriage. Therefore, every day that you live and walk in this life, you’re actually taking a step closer to the time and the season when that activity will come to pass. That’s why you shouldn’t say, “I’m waiting for my husband.”

In actuality, you’re working to get to him and that season for love, romance and marriage. This is so because God has purposed and ordained it to happen in His set or appointed time. If you think of your life as being a timeline of activities that God has purpose for you to experience then it’s inevitable that love, romance and marriage will come. You can be assured that if you have that desire in your heart, God placed it there and He will be faithful to bring it to pass.

The idea then is to view your present season as a time of preparation for the seasons to come. This season of preparation is so vital and necessary because meeting the man is only one small part of the timeline. Meeting your husband is a one-time event. Being prepared to love him, encourage him, serve him, minister to him, raise his children, keep his home and be faithful to him all make up a lifetime of activities. Much preparation is needed to prepare you for this life commitment. God wants to make sure that you are spiritually and emotionally mature enough to fully comprehend and to undertake your role as wife and mother.

Therefore, the time you call “waiting”…God calls this season “working”.

Working to grow, working to learn, working to mature into the responsible, faithful, spiritual, supportive friend, lover and prayer warrior that your husband will need. This time of working will be filled with lessons and trials that God will use to equip you with those life skills and tools you will use for the rest of your life.

During this time of preparation, God is strategically placing you in situations that will help to increase your faith, your tolerance and your love. God is teaching you the art patient, graceful endurance. He’s teaching you to stand in faith when things get tough so that you’ll be prepared to continue to love your man when he’s unlovely. Because there will be days like that. God is using this time to teach you to stand and fight when everything within your being is saying to throw in the towel and walk away.

Your challenges today and the way you handle them will be the way you handle challenges in your marriage relationship. If your coping tools and conflict resolution skills are lacking, God will continue to put you in situations that will sharpen those skills. If you are dealing with a lot of selfishness in your life or dependency on things to build your status, God will bring situations in your life to bring you up higher in those areas. If you’re involved in fornication or in unhealthy relationships, God will use this time to bring deliverance, growth and change. He will even allow people to hurt, use and abuse you for a season. He will allow you to walk in that hard place to crush and break your dependency on others so that you will come to be completely and totally dependent on Him.

That’s why you must grab a hold of 1 Peter 4:12-13 and James 1:2-4.

“Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.”

“My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.”

You must understand that the trials you face today are your training ground and the classroom where you’ll build the character, attitudes and temperament to sustain a fulfilling, satisfying and God-centered marriage relationship. Because except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it. (Ps. 127.1) And in some cases, before the building can begin, demolition is needed. And that’s why the trial after trial – struggle after struggle – disappointment after disappointment. It’s all a part of His plan.

God is doing a work in you and everything and everybody is fair game. The battles you wage against the enemy today are preparing you to wage war and stand against the enemy when he comes trying to attack your marriage and your family in the future. The trials you are going through today are teaching you to trust God so it’ll be like second nature when you have to stand in faith with your husband. The issues that keep you on your knees today are teaching you the art of intercession and the true meaning of James 5:16:

“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”

And this is a tool you can begin to use now as a single woman who desires to marry one day. I don’t have to tell you what a challenge it is to find a quality man when you consider how many men are incarcerated, unemployed, unmotivated and those with commitment issues. Not to mention the men who are caught up in the lie of homosexuality. But even with these sad statistics, God has a solution and it’s found in Galatians 4:19.

“My little children, of whom I travail in birth again until Christ be formed in you.”

Here, the Apostle Paul is speaking of the way he prays for the Galatians and their walk with the Lord. The word travail means using physical or mental energy or labor. It’s also the word that describes the labor of giving birth. Yes, birth, as in that life-living function that only a woman is able to accomplish. However, in this scripture, the Apostle Paul is speaking of giving birth spiritually through prayer and intercession.

Essentially, Paul is saying that he’s entrenched in prayer for the Galatians – praying fervently and consistently with great mental, emotional and physical effort until he sees change birthed in their lives. His intercession is so strong and so heartfelt - it’s if he’s in labor like a mother, giving birth to the spiritual maturity in the lives of these believers. And he was committed to praying for them until he saw Christ Jesus manifested in their lives.

And God is saying the same to you, single woman. If you want to see Christ formed in the lives of men who are bound by the enemy, then you will have to give birth to this change through prayer. This same fervent, effectual, heartfelt, consistent prayer is what will take to get that brother off the street corner, out of jail, out of an unmarried woman’s bed and have him walking, talking and acting just like Jesus.

And I don’t mean praying something selfish like, “Lord, give me that man to be my husband.” No. I’m saying that God is calling you to take up a serious, committed posture of sustained and effective prayer until you see a change in the lives of our men. If you take up this posture, now and make fervent intercession a lifestyle, you will not only birth souls into the kingdom of God, but you will already know how to lay and pray for your husband when he comes into your life. And that will be a HUGE part of your role as a wife because that man will need your prayers as he is certain to be confronted with all manner of evil as he works to provide for his family and remain faithful to his God and to his marriage vows.

I cannot stress enough how important this is, because the reality is, that man languishing in the prison cell today, may be the man you marry tomorrow. That drug dealer hanging on the corner today, may be the man you stand with at the altar someday vowing to love forever and here after. He may not look like much of a prospect today, but once you apply Galatians 4:19 to his life, he will end up looking, walking, talking, preaching and healing people…just like Jesus.

That’s why prayer is one of those tools God is trying to equip you with to prepare you for the season when your husband comes. And there will be plenty of counterfeits who come in the meantime. But even these men who come into your life and leave because they don’t meet your standards are all a part of God’s plan. In encountering the kind of man that you don’t want in a husband, helps you to identify those intangible traits, tendencies and habits that you do want in a husband. Things like honesty, loyalty, trustworthiness, perseverance, diligence, faithfulness, kindness, generosity, maturity, respectfulness, Godliness and so many more that make a man a quality husband.

The good thing is during this process of men coming and going, God will give you the wisdom and discernment to help you recognize the qualities that will make a man a good husband. And in doing so, God will help you understand why these intangible things are so important for your husband to possess. This wisdom and discernment you gain during your preparation season will help you recognize the divine when he passes before of you. And you’ll know he’s God’s choice because you will have already prayed about what you want and need. You will have been processed and prepared to receive him. And because you’ve drawn close to God and allowed Him to bring you to spiritual maturity, you’ll know it’s the time to love.

Please hear me my sister…This is a very, very special and unique time in your life. It’s not just a season of waiting. It’s a season of gathering. It’s the season to gather the stones spoken of in Ecclesiastes 3:5. It is a time to gather the stones of knowledge, wisdom and understanding as these are the stones that God will use to build your spiritual house that will govern, encircle and fortify your marriage. These tools will equip you to be the quality wife and suitable mate your husband will need and desire. And let’s face it. No quality Christian man wants an immature, selfish wife who is only coming into the marriage with her hands out to take, but bringing nothing to the table but debt, problems and issues. A quality man will want an accomplished, strong, loving, capable, Godly woman who will make him want to come home every night.

That’s why you cannot consider this time as a waiting time. No, no, no. This is a busy time. It’s a time to get connected with your life purpose and in line with the timeline of activities God has already established for you. For it’s within your purpose, while you’re doing what God has called you to be and to do that you’ll encounter the man God has created for you. And that’s what you want. You want to be found close to the Father, close to his heart because as one of my favorite sayings goes…

“A woman’s heart must be so close to God that a man must seek Him to find her.”

And you can be sure to get close to the Father by spending time praying for that man God has for you. Pray that he’s working his plan and working through his process so that he’ll be ready for you – equipped with his stones and tools that will be needed to build your spiritual house. Because if he shows up without them, that will be a problem. Believe me…you don’t want a half broken down house that will never withstand the storms and the trials of life.

So now…I want you to stop saying that you’re waiting for your husband. Take on this new mindset by making this your daily confession:

“My waiting days are over. I’m working, everyday, to prepare myself for my husband. I’m praying for him, daily, that Christ be formed in him. I’m learning my lessons and gathering the stones and the tools that will be used to build our spiritual house. I’m being processed and prepared to love him, to serve him, to bless him, to support him, to intercede for him and to minister to him all the days of my life. My waiting days are over…So be it.”

Now if this word has spoken to your heart, please pass it on to someone else and tell them why it blessed you. If it’s been a blessing to you, please let me know. Please help me to encourage other women to pray for our men, by forwarding this post and inviting all your Facebook friends to join the ManFast Plan fan page.

And please remember to pray for me as I work to do the Father’s will. I have a heart to see women whole, healed and blessed – doing what God called them to be and to do.

And as always please visit www.manfast.net to take the ManFast survey and get moving forward with walking in the blessings of God.

I love you and I’m praying for you. I’m here if you need me!


Melissa Ewell Miller


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