From Shame to Victory!
Let's be real... When you're dealing with some junk from your sexual past, it can be embarrassing to deal with. There's nothing like walking up to a podium to minister and seeing a past sexual "indiscretion" sitting right before you in the center of the third row! (Ask me how I know... Lord Have, Mercy!)
When you've got that kind of icky, yucky, nasty stuff in your sexual history, the tendency is to hide all that junk in the past... To try and forget it, leave it buried in the shadows and act like it never happened. Only it's not so easy to forget the sin, when the shame still hangs on, like a dark heavy cloak weighing you down.
It's even worse when, at any given moment in your life, a mental image flashes through your mind, causing the pain to start churning and burning in your soul. One minute you're fine... the next minute you want to crawl into a dark corner and hide, along with all that mess!
On the outside you've cleaned it up, dressed it up and prettied it up, but on the inside, the ugliness is still there and at times it can be overwhelming.
You desire to move forward with your life, longing to be loved with a righteous, holy, pure love, but then the things you've done come creeping out of the shadows and that passion for love is suddenly snuffed out by the shame of your sinful, messy, complicated relationship issues. Even if a good man did walk into your life, asking to love you, that pain and those memories would become an automatic roadblock!
When you struggle to even speak about the ugliness of your past, you can hardly imagine trusting another man with your heart, just so he can crush it all over again! The fear of a painful rejection is enough to say to that brother...
"Thanks, but I'm good. Because if you knew all that I've done, where I've been and who I really am... You'd hate me! You'd think I'm nasty. You wouldn't like the real me and you definitely wouldn't love me!"
You say that with your mouth, even as your heart cries out for healing, relief, release and deliverance. While you may have done some terrible, awful things or had some terrible, awful things done to you, there is hope. There is healing. And God can deliver! He can wash away the guilt and the shame. He can soothe your weary, aching soul with a healing touch. He can restore your sense of self-love and appreciation and He can give you a song of survival and victory!
Think about that prostitute in the Bible, who was caught in the very act of having sex with a married man. She was dragged naked into the streets, to be stoned to death by an angry mob. But just like her, Jesus will see the evidence of your sin, right before His eyes, and yet show you compassionate love! He can cover your nakedness and release you from the penalty and shame of your accusers. He can forgive your sins and restore you to wholeness, righteousness and right-standing with Him and with others!
And just so you know, that ex-whore, who once made her living on her back, was Mary Magdalene, the woman who came to serve Jesus so faithfully, that she was the very first one who saw Him after the resurrection! So you see, Jesus rewrote her story and her testimony of victory is still being talked about to this day!
So yes... There is hope... There is forgiveness... There is healing and restoration available even for you!
But here's the thing.... God can't heal what we don't reveal!
But once you reveal it, bring it all out of the shadows and lay it before Him, He can begin to take you on a journey to wholeness!
It may be a scary thought, but don't be afraid to be open and honest when it comes to showing your weaknesses and messiness to the Lord. The enemy loves to use shame and the fear of rejection to keep us from seeking the healing that we need.
So don't you be afraid to approach the Savior either! If these women were loved and accepted inspite of their sin, then know that His arms and His heart are open to you as well!
If you need to confess, but you can't seem to speak the words, then write a letter to God and pour your heart out and ask Him for what you need. If you need someone to speak to, ask the Lord to send someone you can trust, who will be a keeper of your secrets and a prayer partner who will help you find your way to freedom.
If you need to go stretch out on the altar at church, then do that and ask the Lord to work in you! And don't just go once... Keep going until you get everything you need from the Lord. If your church has a problem with you stretching out, laying and staying before the Lord, then find another church where the mothers and the sisters won't mind laying and praying with you... for as long as it takes, to get the healing and deliverance you need!
Whatever way you choose to open up doesn't matter. What matters is that you take the necessary steps to pursue wholeness. This is not about being cute or politically correct! It's about getting delivered and set free!
Much Love & Peace~