Is Being a Soul Mate Really Enough???


I know I may step on some toes with this one, but this is designed to make you really think:

Don't settle for being someone's "soul mate"! It's really NOT enough!!!

Why not, you ask??? Well, I'm so glad you asked! Let me explain....

The concept of a soul mate may sound good... Very deep and spiritual. But how does it measure up to God's original design for love and romance???

A soul mate is defined as a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity, (an attraction to or liking for something). This may involve similarity, love, intimacy, sexuality, sexual activity, spirituality, or compatibility. A soul mate has the connotation of a romantic connection, with the implication that the parties involved will share an exclusive life-long bond.* However, two people can claim to be soul mates, but never actually make a commitment of faithfulness or fidelity. 

Soul mates may know the other mate exists, but if they never truly join their lives in a significant ways, how meaningful is their connection or their commitment?

On a deeper level, when we try to qualify or identify the characteristics of a soul mate, based on a Biblical definition, the term is not found anywhere in the Bible. What we can find, however, is God's idea of a lasting, loving, satisfying romantic relationship.... And it's called Marriage!

I love the way marriage is explained in Mark 10:6 - 9 in The Voice Version of the Bible:

"But truly, God created humans male and female in the beginning. As it is written in the Hebrew Scriptures, “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother to marry his wife, and the two of them will become one flesh and blood.” So they are no longer two people, but one. What God has joined together in this way, no one may sever."

If you notice here, God makes no mention of a soul mate... He's clearly talking about being Husband and Wife! Now, for the sake of clarity, a husband and wife may consider themselves soul mates. However, soul mates are not exclusive relationships to only married couples. Soul mates can be friends, siblings or companions, who would never engage each other in a romantic or sexual way! 

This online survey** I've posted bears that out: 



Clearly, according to these responses, people are all over the map when it comes to their individual understanding of a soul mate. Conversely, most people can tell you, with a great degree of certainty, whether they're married or not! It's hard to forget that you stood before an official and exchanged vows with another person, taking them as a husband or wife. Soul mates, on the other hand, can leave people in doubt about what that means and how a relationship will ultimately play out.

God's idea for romantic relationships is crystal clear! In His mind, marriage goes so much deeper than the soul or the fleshly connection between two people, who share common interests and a physical attraction! Marriage does include a soul connection, because the soul consists of our mind, will and emotions. Yet marriage goes so much deeper than our thoughts, our desires and our feelings. 

Marriage is a spiritual connection that goes all the way to the spirit and it literally changes who we are as a person. Marriage gives us a new role, a new identity, a new title and it gives some a new name. Marriage is about ownership... the giving and possession of our lives; spirit, soul, mind, body and earthly possessions as reflected in the traditional marriage vows:

"...to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law, in the presence of God I make this vow."


Going even deeper, in God's eyes, Marriage is the supernatural transformation of two lives into one! This is something that only He can do, that only He can sustain! It's the natural replication of the love God has for us, that can only flow as He intends where romance and sexuality are involved. Yet, we can only experience this holy kind of sexual love when we submit to His will and His way of joining our lives as life partners in love. Adam put it this way in Genesis 2:23:

"The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones
    and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
    for she was taken out of man.

When Adam laid eyes on Eve, he claimed her as his own flesh and bone, distinguishing their relationship from any other relationship in existence! He left no question as to who Eve was and the role she'd play in his life. Adam had his mind on marriage and marriage on his mind! Having Eve as he soul mate was definitely not going to be enough for that man! And this is the way it should be in our lives!

Marriage is a life commitment that God can empower us to embrace and sustain through His wisdom, knowledge, favor and understanding. The word says in Mark 10:9, "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." (Asunder means to tear apart.)  

But since there's no mention in the Bible of the term "soul mate", God doesn't make the same guarantee. Meaning, if He didn't join the relationship together, at His direction, on His terms, then He has no obligation to keep it from falling apart.

With all this in mind, why settle for a mere "soul" connection, when God desires for you to experience a spirit, soul, mind, body, life-long connection as husband and wife?

Therefore, if God doesn't recognize a soul mate as a genuine romantic relationship, could it be time to elevate your thinking and your expectations when it comes to the kind of relationship you desire?

This is especially important to consider for those who are sitting around waiting for your soul mate to start treating you like a "mate"! If someone really chooses you to be their life partner, and that person is mature enough to know their own mind, then they would do whatever it takes to seal the deal and remove all doubt about their feelings for you! Soul mates leave a lot of questions lingering about where a relationship is heading and how long the relationship will last. 

But a vow of marriage, given before God and men... the exchanging of wedding rings and the permanent, intentional joining of two lives, is a clear, strong display of a life commitment!  

So don't settle for less than what God can provide. Trust that He can and will bring genuine, authentic love into your life that will flow, in marriage, according to His divine design! 

Something for you to consider.....

Melissa

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