Why Hasn't Love Come For Me?
As much of the world is still enjoying the afterglow of the Harry and Meghan Love Story and Royal Wedding, many are experiencing a renewal of the desire for love and romance in their own lives. That's totally understandable. We can't help but be inspired by Meghan's journey... A biracial, divorcee from a broken home, who met her real life prince on a blind date... Surely, that's the stuff dreams are made yet!
And she's not alone... If you’ve been paying attention, it can be clearly seen, how in the last few years, God has brought together an unprecedented number of Mandated Marriages.
Truly, this is a season of accelerated love, as Father continues to raise up and bring together kingdom couples for kingdom purposes. For in this hour, many are hearing that divine song of love, that's flowing from the Father's heart. And as they place faith in what God is saying, follow His lead, and undergo His preparation process, they are seeing the manifestation of the promise of love come in their lives.
Yet, with all this talk of finding love, courtships, proposals, weddings and mandated marriages swirling around, many believers are asking the question,
"Why Hasn't Love Come For Me?"
Thankfully, as we ask, God is releasing answers. As He does, I'm sharing some of the wisdom He's giving to help believers understand what’s going on and to prepare and position themselves to receive the promise of the Mandated Marriage!
First, however, I want to share a little about the concept of the Mandate Marriage and what that term means.
Mandate: An official order or commandment to do something.
Marriage: The legally or formally recognized union of a man and woman as partners in a life relationship.
When we combine the definitions of the words “mandate” and “marriage”, we arrive at the description of a marriage that is mandated, ordered, planned and ordained by God.
It’s not a marriage that is solely derived from two individual’s desires and decisions to please self, but it’s driven by an overarching desire and decision to please God.
The couple understands and accepts, that their marriage is not just for pleasure or convenience, but a part of God’s eternal blueprint for their lives. They understand the marriage is about fulfilling godly purpose and not based their personal preference alone. They understand that their marriage covenant not only affects their personal lives, but their union is designed and built to impact the kingdom of God and to advance the causes of the kingdom.
Therefore, their marriage is undertaken more as a kingdom assignment than something that fell into their lap by luck or a trophy that was awarded to the best contestant.
A mandated marriage carries an undeniable weight of destiny, that they accept and walk into, eyes wide open and hearts fully committed. That’s because they know this is what God has established for their lives and destiny and they're in agreement with God's will for their lives.
In saying, “yes” to their mate, they’re saying, “yes” to God, in an act of obedience as well as an act of love.
Simply put, a mandated marriage is one that is hand-picked by God, based on the mandates upon the lives of the two people involved and the needs of the kingdom.
As God is moving swiftly and definitively in this area, it is vitally important that anyone who’s hearing and sensing God speaking about love and marriage, that they begin asking God to prepare them for marriage.
However, if He has NOT specifically spoken to you about marriage, then you're still in the "waiting, praying and seeking God's face" season, and that's where you need to stay!
That's because mandated marriages are governed by the times, seasons and plans of God, according to the agenda of heaven. Mandate marriages are strategic in nature and timing, as well as in function, so they're going to happen in very specific ways, at very specific times.
Yet, while these marriages are governed by the plans of heaven, God wants His people to understand the process, so they can work with Him, in a collaborative effort to bring His will to pass in their lives, just as He's designed it to work.
That means there is work to do on our part, for Him to be able to do His part!
When we can capture that idea in our minds, then we can see that there are reasons He may not release love into our life, in the time frame that we expect it to happen. Some of the main reasons God doesn't bring love when we think He should can include...
Spiritual immaturity and the inability to accurately hear from God
Not being properly positioned to connect with your spouse
Unresolved emotional issues from past pains, bitterness or unforgiveness
Being in a relationship that God has not ordained
Not being in the season of love as ordained by heaven
The need to deal with sin issues or spiritual bondage
The need to grow in faith and dependency on God
A lack of understanding of how to be a godly spouse
Not being clear about your identity, calling or purpose
Fear and doubt which hinders the ability to trust God to choose the right mate
To further help identity specific issues you may be dealing with, I've listed some questions below. If any other them strike a cord in your soul, then you know that's something that needs to be worked on. As you address these issues with the Father in prayer, He can work in your life to prepare you for your season of love and romance.
Ask yourself these questions and take an honest assessment of where you are.
Do you have a consistent prayer life that gives God the access and permission, to work in your life, shaping, molding, teaching and preparing you to be the spouse your spouse will need?
Have you allowed God to fully heal you of the pain and trauma of your relationship past? You’ll know you have been totally healed when you can sincerely pray for your past partners and those that have hurt you, only wanting God’s best for their lives. To be sure, ask Holy Spirit to reveal any unresolved issues in your life that needs to be healed and then take you through the process of healing, forgiveness and restoration.
Are you certain that your timing is in sync with God’s timing? What has God said to you about the time or season your spouse will appear in your life?
Are you fully surrendered to God, trusting Him to bring the spouse you need, or are you making demands and trying to control the process?
Are you walking in consistent obedience to God in whatever He says, or do you obey only when you feel like it? If you’re shaky in your obedience, that makes you untrustworthy in God’s sight. Since you do not fully trust Him enough to consistently obey, He may not feel you can be trusted to obey Him when it comes to connecting a spouse.
Are you consistently praying for your spouse according to Galatians 4:19, whether you know who they are or not? Are you a strong intercessor, who sees consistent results in your prayer life as you pray in collaboration with the Holy Spirit? A wife is to be the chief intercessor over her home and a family, so this is a necessary skill that every wife needs.
Are you allowing God to process you, to create in you the characteristics and skill set of a godly spouse.
Do you say you believe God to bring love and romance to your life, but when you get stressed in the waiting process, your words and your actions don’t line up with what God is saying? Are you doubleminded in this area, in faith one day and in doubt the next?
Do you have a “Wish List” or “Never List” with so many requirements that your expectations for a spouse are unrealistic? For example: If you will only accept a husband who is over 6’5’’, you could be holding up the process, if the man God has chosen for you is 6’4”. Seriously, your guidelines could be keeping God’s specific blessing out of your life.
Even if you think you’re ready for marriage, have you asked God if He thinks you’re ready? Ask Him if you’re ready to be married to the specific person He’s chosen for you? Or is there more you need to learn, know, receive and understand, before God brings that person?
I know this may seem like a lot to take in, and some may even be wondering if it takes all this just to find a spouse. I can only tell you what I've heard God say...
"Prepare for what you're praying to receive!"
Therefore, if you want God's best when it comes to love and romance, you'll have to follow His plans and undergo His processing. If you trust Him, then you're let His do the work as you steadily grow in wisdom, knowledge, grace and favor in His sight.
I pray this helps someone, and please know that I'm praying for you to come into the fullness of God's promise for love and romance.
Ap. Mimi Ewell Pinto